Oh, man, this is funny.

My wife and I often talk about the fact that I grew up in Texarkana, a town much smaller than San Antonio. She has told me a few times that there was no way she could live in a small town after growing up here. I told her that living in smaller towns never was either good or bad for me, it was just something that well, WAS — though I will readily admit I love San Antonio. What bugged me about the town I grew up in was that it was not only not that big, but it was so damn far from, well, ANYWHERE. Three hours from Dallas, a good 5 1/2 hours from Houston and about 7 hours from San Antonio. Sure, there were Little Rock (two hours) and Shreveport (1 hour), but there’s only so much to do in either of those locales. But I got a huge kick out of this:

Maybe the best apocalyptic novel I can think of is “A Canticle for Leibowitz”, by Walter Miller. It is a post-nuclear holocaust novel, where the world slowly slowly recovers, over the centuries, to the point that the realization dawns on the reader that they are going to do it all over again.

And sure enough, they do it again, but apparently for keeps the second time, though it appears a few may escape into space. An amusing side light is that much of the action occurs in a future Texas, where one of the new empires that leads to the second nuclear holocaust is the Texarkanan Empire, with capital city of Texarkana, which apparently escaped the first holocaust due to its obscurity.

Not that I hated living in Texarkana, but this was just too funny. It struck me that in the other Texas metro areas I’ve lived in (Bryan-College Station and Beaumont-Port Arthur), I’d tell people where I was from and a lot (if not most) of them had no idea where it was. It was…obscure to them. πŸ˜‰

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One Response to “Oh, man, this is funny.”

  1. southtexaspistolero Says:

    Sabra (71.21.100.23)
    Pfft. As if College Station and Beaumont are known outside of, well, College Station and Beaumont.
    September 23, 2010, 6:57:22 PM CDT – Like – Reply – Edit – Moderate

    Boomer Lad (207.235.20.43)
    Guy I bought one of my MAS 1949-56 rifles from is a school math and physics teacher from Northern Arkansas and hobby gunsmith.

    He goes to teacher’s conventions and he says:

    “People look at my name tag and I swear they next look down to see if I’m wearing shoes.

    One of my Bowyer buddies live’s outside of Mt. Pleasant. I live close to cities I don’t like to go to…And was born in Montana more than 4 decades ago, when it was a lot less populous that it is now. Currently, the Montana population is about 2/3 of the population of San Antonio alone…in 147,000 square miles.

    One of my musician buddies lives outside of Omaha, TX. Most people don’t know there is an Omaha…

    Important thing. You can hunt feral hogs with BREN guns and PKMs a lot easier around Texarkana than in SA

    September 23, 2010, 8:51:19 PM CDT – Like – Reply – Edit – Moderate

    Boomer Lad (207.235.20.43)
    One other thing:

    If you’re in Lexington, or around Texarkana, or a lot of other places that small and smaller, you can go into the beer store almost dripping with blood with a big fookin’ knife on your belt to buy ice to ice down the game.

    Some San Antonio police will charge you for a lock-back knife even though it isn’t against the law according to state code 46.01, which says lockbacks up to 5” are legal. Dad was down visiting and we went to San Antonio to see some of his old friends and I was a paranoid wreck between the fact a lot of his friends are academics now and all the “Gun Free Zones”. You act cool and mind your own business but it’s not a pleasant experience.

    I got stopped by a county cop here and I told him I was armed and he said “I reckon everybody ought to be armed, them folk that aren’t are p*ssies”.

    True story or BL’s life. I didn’t get a ticket either and then we talked about 1911s vs GLOCKs vs SIGs. Can’t make that up. I’ll stay around small towns out in the county as long as I can. You can’t do much of anything without all your neighbors knowing your business, but most everybody is likely to leave you alone and expect the same instead of try and run your life.
    September 23, 2010, 9:32:32 PM CDT – Like – Reply – Edit – Moderate

    Albatross (69.152.247.226)
    I once read a post-nuclear war book called Warday. The story itself is not that great, and I will probably never read it again, but it was a little unnerving when the narrator flew over what used to be San Antonio and described it as a glassy, lunar surface, if I remember correctly.

    With five military bases at the time, S.A. apparently was a prime target during the Cold War.
    September 23, 2010, 10:24:57 PM CDT – Like – Reply – Edit – Moderate

    Boomer Lad (207.235.20.43)
    Not apparently, I lived there then and my dad is Colonel dad.

    Not “apparently”, it WAS.

    Largest USAF maintenance facility at the time.
    One of the largest complexes of pilot training.
    And a monster US Army base.
    Put in little things like “Camp Bullis”, here and there…

    We knew pretty well if there was a nuclear war we would be FRIED as a first strike target just as much as Malmstrom, where dad also was stationed once.
    September 24, 2010, 12:33:47 AM CDT – Like – Reply – Edit – Moderate

    Albatross (69.152.230.107)
    I used “apparently” as rhetorical understatement. Of course anyone in the San Antonio area during those times knew we were toast if a real nuclear exchange ever happened. Where I grew up, we were just close enough we joked that if the missiles were launched we’d be better off running TOWARD San Antonio rather than away. That way, everything would be over for us rather quickly.

    It was just barely a joke.
    September 24, 2010, 6:36:50 AM CDT – Like – Reply – Edit – Moderate

    thepistolero (71.21.100.23)
    Pfft. As if College Station and Beaumont are known outside of, well, College Station and Beaumont.

    LMAO. You may well be right, but then there’s that little school in College Station called Texas A&M.

    I know where Omaha is, BL, but have never been there. Mainly because I always took Interstate 30 when I was going that direction as opposed to Highway 67. LOL, I was always in a hurry. I have been to Mt. Pleasant a few times. Seems like a nice little town, from what I saw of it.

    I dunno how big of a target Texarkana might have been, but I have a really hard time believing it was completely off the Soviet radar; it was home to two smaller military installations itself, the Lone Star Army Ammunition Plant and Red River Army Depot. They deactivated Lone Star last year as part of the 2005 BRAC, but RRAD is still there.
    September 24, 2010, 7:45:32 AM CDT – Like – Reply – Edit – Moderate

    McThag (72.91.3.24)
    Texarkana is where Coors beer is from! I learned that from the great documentary, “The Smokey and The Bandit.” Pfft, everyone knows that!
    October 3, 2010, 9:25:48 PM CDT – Like – Reply – Edit – Moderate

    thepistolero (71.21.100.23)
    LMAO. One of my Facebook friends reminded me of that not long after I posted about this on there. You’re on my blogroll now, btw…
    October 3, 2010, 10:24:58 PM CDT

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