That sound, it sounds like…hit dogs yelping.

..or, Man alive, ole Zac Brown sure smacked a lot of canines, if this is any indication:

(The Luke Bryan song “That’s My Kind of Night”) isn’t something Brown is fond of, and he let that be known, calling it “the worst song I’ve ever heard … When songs make me wanna throw up, it makes me ashamed to even be in the same genre as those songs.” Some of country music’s biggest stars including Jason Aldean have already come to the defense of both Bryan and the song’s three writers, saying: “I hear some other artists are bashing my boy @lukebryan new song, sayin it’s the worst song they have ever heard…..…To those people runnin their mouths, trust me when I tell u that nobody gives a sh—what u think. It’s a big ol hit so apparently the fans love it which is what matters. Keep doin ur thing LB!!!”

…“When Luke called and told me about it, the first thing I did was sit there and soak it in,” Davidson tells Roughstock in our exclusive chat with the two-time BMI Songwriter of the Year responsible for many of Country music’s biggest hits over the past several years. “A comment like that will hurt your feelings because when you write a song, it’s kind of like one of your babies. To hear a successful artist say it was the worst song he’s heard and it makes him want to throw up, that’s just not cool. I’m sure a lot of stuff like that has been said behind closed doors, and everybody has their right to their opinion, but to come out publicity and dog on other artists and dog on a song and the songwriters, to me, is just unacceptable and it’s not nice.”

Aww, poor thing.  I wonder if he’d like some cheese to go with that whine? Some babies are just ugly. And some songs just suck. Some couples can’t help but make ugly babies, but songwriting can always get better, and there’s nothing wrong with calling out bad music when you hear it. Critics and fans do it all the time. I don’t see a damn thing wrong when singers do it too. I could talk all day about what’s wrong with Dallas Davidson as a songwriter, but this bit from Country California summed it up perfectly:

“Fun song, guys, but it’s basically just a bunch of country cliches wrapped around repetitions of the title phrase…in fact, it sounds like almost everything else you’ve written for the past 5 years. I think maybe you should start giving the listening public a little more credit for not being a bunch of dumb hicks that want a bunch of country stereotypes parroted back to them all the time.”

And how about ole Jason Aldean? Some artists, eh? We’ll never see it, but I would love to see that semi-literate hack show some of the sack Zac Brown did and call the dude out by name if he so disagrees with what Brown said. Some artists. Fuck Jason Aldean and Dallas Davidson too. If they don’t want to get called out for making shit music, there’s a really easy way to make that happen. But we all know that is completely beyond their ken.

And apparently Justin Moore weighed in as well, saying, “Everybody has their own opinions, and I don’t have a problem with people having their own opinions, but where I do have a problem with it is when you call out somebody in your fraternity.”

Pretty apropos that he’d call it a fraternity, considering how much of mainstream “country” music is frat-boy bullshit about getting drunk by the river and whatnot.

Seriously, though, to take Moore’s analogy and run with it, what’s wrong with calling out your frat brothers if they’re making asses out of themselves in the fraternity’s name? It ought to be obvious that all this shallow, dumbed-down party music reflects badly on the genre in general. I mean, surely I can’t be the only one who tells people things to the effect that “I love country music, just not the bullshit Nashville passes off as country anymore.” I posted something on Facebook about this, and Sabra left this comment:

“Know what’s funny? I had like three self-professed Luke Bryan fans talking about how much that song sucks last night. Apparently he should have just sat there (on the finale of some reality show) and looked pretty. So apparently, the song is so bad even his fans hate it!”

Photographic evidence follows:

Screen Shot 2013-09-20 at 11

So…yeah. People are gonna have to start getting called out if things are gonna get better, and it’s not going to be the fans or the critics taking the lead on this. They don’t have the voice or the clout. It’s going to have to be the artists who ultimately save the genre. The battle lines are being drawn, and not a moment too soon.

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8 Responses to “That sound, it sounds like…hit dogs yelping.”

  1. JD(not the one with the picture) Says:

    I completely agree with your opinion of Dallas Davidson songs. But did you see the post “If Dallas Davidson had written these Americana classics” at Farce the Music?

    http://www.farcethemusic.com/2013/08/if-dallas-davidson-had-written-these.html

    My favorite was the “Dallas” version of Lyle Lovett’s “Pony on my Boat”

    If I had a boat
    I’d fill it up with hotties
    And if I had a jet ski
    I’d ride around my boat
    And we could party all night
    Shake it for me, hotties
    Me upon my jet ski round my boat

    I would pay good money to hear Lyle sing that.

  2. AeroDillo Says:

    I’m perplexed…the song, so far as I remember (what sleep deprivation and snorting Hoppes No. 9 haven’t erased, I mean) spends most of its time building up what a macho he-man uberhick the singer/protagonist is. So what I’m wondering is why, when his song is called out as the runny turd that it demonstratably is, the writer’s only comeback is that it ‘hurts his feelings’.

    The hell is this. If you own a working pair, the last time ‘feelings’ was get-out-of-life-free card was in second grade. And it was iffy then.

    When did criticism become a dirty word? Used to be you started something new, sucked at it, got chewed up and spit out by people who knew better, took their advice, improved, and wound up with something workable.

    But I guess we can’t do that anymore because criticism is hurtful. Especially when it’s true.

    This ‘song’ is not music. Nor is it country. This song is the audio equivalent of week-old Taco Bell splatter in a truck stop restroom.

    And seriously…how bad do you have to do before Mr. Boys Round Here passes on your music as cliche and uninspired? That’s on par with Jimmy Carter telling you how bad you fail at government.

    …well, I guess we’ve got an answer for that now.

    • southtexaspistolero Says:

      When did criticism become a dirty word?

      THAT’s the $64,000 question, isn’t it? Seriously, you’d think these people would have some level of self-awareness or capacity for introspection. “Hey, if one of my fellow artists thinks my stuff’s so bad that he’ll call it out by name, maybe I oughta stop and think.” After all, an artist calling out one of his contemporaries and being so specific about it is not really that common.

      But I’m sure Dallas Davidson can barely even pronounce the word “introspection,” let alone tell you what it actually means.

  3. AeroDillo Says:

    …if only that SCM link weren’t farce. Alas.

  4. AeroDillo Says:

    …he seriously is.

  5. Jeff Bauer Says:

    I could only stomach listening to about 35-seconds of that song. The song and the songwriters suck. Period.

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