Weapons-grade sanctimony.

I read this and my jaw (figuratively) dropped to the floor:

A Fargo, N.D., woman says she will give trick-or-treaters that she deems “moderately obese” a letter instead of candy this Halloween.

“I just want to send a message to the parents of kids that are really overweight. … I think it’s just really irresponsible of parents to send them out looking for free candy just ’cause all the other kids are doing it,” the woman said in a morning radio interview with Y94. She wouldn’t identify herself.

The letter states: “You child is, in my opinion, moderately obese and should not be consuming sugar and treats to the extent of some children this Halloween season.”

That’s just…I got nothin’. Who the hell does this woman think she is? I hope and pray she does not have children, because God only knows how she would be treating them. They really should bring back shunning for creatures like this.

And don’t you just love how the cowardly bitch didn’t give her name? If she’s so proud of what she is doing — and she quite obviously is, if she voluntarily went on the radio to talk about it — then she ought to put her name to it. But that’s okay. There are ways to find out the names of people who do things like this; it’s been done before and I have no doubt it could be done here, although I don’t know if this would peg people’s outrage meter the way the suicide of Megan Meier did, to the point that people would put forth the effort to do it.

And I really hope Dr. David Smith doesn’t have kids either, because he obviously knows nothing about raising them if he’d actually approve of strangers berating children for perceived flaws. I mean, really? Embarrassing kids in front of their peers and damaging their already-fragile self-esteem is a public service? Wow…


10 Responses to “Weapons-grade sanctimony.”

  1. 3boxesofbs Says:

    I’ll take the other side here — why is “It takes a village to raise a kid” when it is something that is non-judgmental but the moment someone dares questions a parents choices it isn’t okay?

    Sanctimonious, okay I’ll buy that. Completely wrong — well, she is putting herself out there and acting on her own. She isn’t trying to get the city or state to pass a law. She isn’t trying to change school lunches.

    While i agree bullying is a problem, I think it is over rated and kids egos can survive a little criticism. It’s not my job or hers to shield a child — or the parent — from a words that they might not like to hear.

  2. southtexaspistolero Says:

    Frankly, I thought the “it takes a village” thing was a load of crap from the first time I heard it, as it always seemed to me to espouse a mentality that took responsibility and freedom away from parents. Non-judgmental or not, I don’t agree with it. And with all due respect, Bob, I think a complete stranger in effect telling my kid she was too fat — in front of her peers, no less — goes far beyond even ego-bruising. I think it’s extremely hateful and hurtful and something adults have no business doing to their own kids, let alone someone else’s. No, it’s not your job to shield kids from criticism, but by the same token it’s not the job of a complete stranger to dish it out.

    And no, I don’t think there ought to be a law either. Which is where the shunning comes in. There are going to be some things that laws are not the proper solutions for, of course, but again, that doesn’t mean there’s no recourse. See, again, the Megan Meier case. I don’t know if her tormentors were ever driven from town, but if they were, is there anything really wrong with that?

    • 3boxesofbs Says:


      As I understand it, she is not saying it out loud; she is putting a letter in the bag. And I will disagree with you about a stranger’s job to dish it out. We do it all the time or should; it is how we create and build community standards. No offense but you do it all the time on this very blog. You take people to task for the things they say or the music they produce — and it is right and proper that you do so.

      This is a touchier subject admittedly and an approach I definitely don’t agree with. But is she really wrong to be raising awareness and expressing her views — if we shut her down for doing this; who will support us when we do it?

      I think the village approach was completely hijack by the liberals to take away responsibility as you say. This lady isn’t doing that — she is pointing out the parents responsibility. Now admittedly there are a few — blessedly few kids that have medical conditions that result in their excessive weight….but how many kids are over weight because the parents don’t exercise control or because they take the short cuts instead of proper nutrition? I would hazard the vast majority.

      I also completely disagree with you about “I think it’s extremely hateful and hurtful and something adults have no business doing to their own kids, ” — there are times when nothing but the brutal honest truth will get through to people. Ego-bruising or worse, it is the parents responsibility to tell such truths. I’ve had to talk to my son about his anger issues, I had to say things that did more then bruise his ego — they struck hard at his self esteem but he had to deal with those issues. You and I can probably remember a few talks like that from our parents, our friends, teachers, Scout Leaders, church leaders, etc. Guess what, we and millions of others survived and used those harsh words to good effect.

      And people need to step and start saying some harsh words all the way around — get rid of the ‘hyphen’ American, Keep your liberal nanny state laws to yourself, take responsibility for yourself and for feeding your own kids, you are still a kid, you shouldn’t be having kids !!

      Look at how some of the things we’ve said about the social safety net could be considered ‘ego bruising’ but they needed to be said. We need to argue what is acceptable and what isn’t — obesity, education, language (oh please can we start correcting people’s speech NOW?????), dress (I’m tired of seeing people’s underwear), and more. Yes, some people – even kids – are going to have their feelings hurt. But they will survive.
      Will our country survive if we don’t speak up?

      • southtexaspistolero Says:

        it is how we create and build community standards

        Sure it is. I just don’t think an acceptable community standard should let you get away with telling your neighbors’ kids they’re fat and that they have crappy eating habits when you don’t actually know anything about their lifestyle. I’ll admit Sabra and I both have a bias of sorts in this; the second-oldest, Linda, is overweight, and she doesn’t eat any more than her sisters do — and she’s more active, to boot. Yet this woman would presume to drop a letter in her candy bag telling her she’s fat and has crappy eating habits? That’s not speaking truth to power; it’s being an ignorant and hateful bitch.

        And as for calling out your own kids — for anger issues and the like? Well, sure. But for things like this that they might not necessarily be able to help even with certain lifestyle changes? Maybe, but there’s a right way and a wrong way to do it.

        But is she really wrong to be raising awareness and expressing her views — if we shut her down for doing this; who will support us when we do it?

        When we do what? I would hope we’re not being assholes to other people’s kids. Sure, she has the right to express her views. But her neighbors have a right to express their displeasure at their views. I remember the story of the Westboro Baptist Church protesters getting kept away from a certain Mississippi soldier’s funeral a couple of years ago. Was that wrong too? I don’t think so. I think the world would be a lot better off if certain kinds of people would sit down and shut up, because they don’t contribute anything positive to the public discourse — this woman and the WBC being but two examples.

    • 3boxesofbs Says:


      And part of what I mean by the “it takes a village” is the stuff we grew up with and what many kids need today. The questioning of why a kid is out after midnight or trying to get into a bar or buy alcohol.
      Wouldn’t you want a stranger telling your daughter “don’t get in the car with the stranger?” Or “Hey, you are too drunk to drive….too young to even be drinking. Let me call your parent”.

      Being part of a village is fine and dandy when it comes to the Little League or Soccer League Coach and Refs. It’s fine when strangers compliment our children for their appearance or behavior.
      Well with that has to be — literally has to be — the freedom to say things that aren’t positive also.

  3. Les Says:

    I think it’s none of the woman’s business. She can hand out candy or not, but is she going to weigh each child and compare it to their height and look on a chart to see if it is okay? Or is she just going to eyeball each child and make a decision. Is she handing out notes of criticism on costumes instead of candy? Or haircuts? Does she go about evaluating peoples choices of pickups vs sedans, and putting out notes on windshields? Interfering, sanctimonious twit. Doesn’t have anything to do with telling the hard truths to children.

  4. Crotalus Says:

    Pontificate all you want, 3boxes, but the kids will exact revenge for this in the form of “tricks” whether you like it or not

  5. 3boxesofbs Says:


    One of your comments was berating for perceived flaws, right?

    About Dexter Manley – “What an asshole. I bet he likes a big hard throbbin’ cock (not a graphic link — ed.) too.”

    About Chris Brown -“Looks like Chris Brown’s in trouble again for — you guessed it! — being a violent little punk.”

    “So not only is Eric Church a poseur…”

    “Is it just me, or does Kenny Rogers think way too highly of himself and his contributions to country music?”

    So, it is okay to ‘berate people’ for their perceived flaws as long as we don’t talk about their appearance?

    I can understand that not all people are the same and that you might be sensitive to this issue. I am too but from the other side. I grew up extremely skinny. I’m talking at 18 years old being 6’1″ and 118 pounds. Guess how many hundreds of people commented on my weight.

    My best friend was the polar opposite — people also commented on his weight. Never mind the fact we were both in great physical shape, people still commented. You know what, we learned to handle it. People are going to be commenting on appearance, dress, manners, etc all the time. It is something kids need to learn to deal with.
    They also, and the parents, need to learn how to handle those who are mistaken in their reasoning.

    One of my sons alternated between skinny and chunky as a kid; it was our responsibility to use those rude people as teaching moments. Have him evaluate the truth of what was said (yes at times he was overweight) against the reasons (he stopped doing marching band and didn’t pick up other exercise). Determine if he should act on the information or dismiss it as being none of their business. And when he expressed that notion correctly we complimented him on how he handled it. And when it was done with less tact but honesty (hey, you are just being a bitch with no room to talk about other people being fat — direct quote) we corrected him on his approach.

    Don’t get me wrong, I think this lady is incredibly crass and rude. But I’ll defend her right to be rude. And yes that includes addressing things like weight. The pendulum has swung too far in my opinion; so that only positive happy happy joy joy thoughts can be expressed about others. BUNK.
    Too many people need to be told pull up their pants or hey I don’t care what you wear but I don’t want to see your body parts displayed in public because of what you are wearing.

    Where do we draw the line on what can and can’t be said? Doing drugs, drinking too much, not exercising, not working, not working out, getting a hair cut….what is taboo and what isn’t?

    Again, let’s be honest about most people and say they could eat less and exercise more and we would be right. There are a few people who regardless of how much they control their diet and exercise will ever meet height weight standards but they are the exception. Obesity is a problem; when and how do we address it as a nation?

  6. southtexaspistolero Says:

    So, it is okay to ‘berate people’ for their perceived flaws as long as we don’t talk about their appearance?

    That’s a fair question, and one that probably deserves more thought. I will say that I think calling people out for their words or their actions is arguably more justifiable, as the shortcomings of such are more readily evident. And I do try most of the time to back up what I say.

    And re: the supposed obesity epidemic — is it, really? Is that the problem, or is it American society’s general obsession with dieting and being thin?

  7. Les Says:

    I believe obesity is the least of this nation’s problems. The Obamanites may resolve that, ala Stalin and the Ukraine, just as communism has solved it in many places in the world. Besides, it’s nobodies’ business but the individual’s, how much they weigh.

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