Archive for the ‘things my wife says’ Category

Well, she had a point…

November 3, 2013

Context: We were talking about Sabra’s ex-husband and his married girlfriend.

Me: “Those two have been ‘together’ about a year and a half now, right?”

Sabra: “Yeah.”

Me: “Well. Don’t you think it’s about time for her to either shit or get off the pot? I mean, I know I’m a fine one to talk, but…”

Sabra: “At least you had the excuse of being a naïve virgin.”

Me: “HAHAHA! This is true, as self-serving as it may be of me to say that…”

Overheard outside the Whataburger at Alon Market…

August 17, 2013

Me: *chuckling*

Sabra: “What?”

Me: “I’m just amused that they gave that story (the Elisa Chan story — ed.) so much room on the front page.” (It took up most of the space above the fold in today’s print edition of the Express-News.)

Sabra: “Yeah, there go her chances for re-election. I mean, that story was just so poorly written…”

Me: “The Brian Chasnoff column?”

Sabra: “Yes! He writes like he brushes his hair–as though he were half drunk, and without any skill whatsoever.”

Me: “HAHAHAHAAAA!…He’s so bad he has to have his coherent arguments created by the subjects of his columns!”

And frankly, even that is hit-and-miss.

Overheard at Jack in the Box…

July 28, 2012

…at Northwest Military and Lockhill-Selma….

Me: “That high school they named after Christa McAuliffe whose mascot is the Rockets, is that here?”

(I remember hearing about that and face palming. I mean, really? Why didn’t they go ahead and make “Burned Like A Rocket” the damn school song?)

Sabra: “It’s a middle school, but yeah….that (Southwest) is the district that produced my ex-husband.”

Me: “HAHAHAHA! Well, that explains everything!

Overheard riding along the northbound IH-35 frontage road…

May 14, 2012

…as “Have Mercy” from the Judds is playing on KKYX:

Me: “I like Merle Haggard and George Jones too, honey. Please don’t doubt my fidelity.”

Sabra: “If I managed to marry you in spite of your favorite song, you’re good.”


Overheard earlier at Armadillo’s…

April 21, 2012

Me, singing to the baby: “Well Tuesday, you see, she had to be free, but somehow I’ve got to carry on…Tuesday’s gone, with the wind…”

Sabra: “That song’s not over yet?”

Me: “Nope. I think it’s about seven minutes long.” (7 minutes and 32 seconds, to be exact.)

Sabra: “Well. No wonder she left.”


I never thought about this…

December 27, 2011

…but it does make sense….

Me: “What baffles me, in relation to fast food and Tex-Mex, is how a place like Taco Bueno could exist in a town with Taco Cabana.” (Sabra and I tried TB once and we were both very unimpressed.)

Sabra: “Well, you have to remember — it’s up in New Braunfels. With all the white people who aren’t from Texas.”


She makes a good point…

October 20, 2011

Overheard, just now…

Sabra: (The neighbor) needs to keep his porn down.”

Me: “Yeah? Did you hear it in here?”

Sabra: “No, but I heard it in the kitchen. I decided not to cook breakfast so I didn’t have to listen to it….If I want to listen to sex I will have it.”


Apparently so.

October 5, 2011

Sabra on Facebook, commenting on the fact that some of the people on my news feed were asking who Steve Jobs was:

“How can you NOT know that? Is Texarkana filled with yokels & Zunes?”

It would seem so…

Overheard earlier this afternoon…

September 27, 2011

…in the truck, as we were headed to the Randolph Park & Ride…

Sabra: “Charter schools get as much money from the state as every other school. It makes me wonder what that money’s going towards.”

Me: “Strippers and champagne.”

Sabra: “Considering the school’s run by a church, they’re probably young male strippers.”


Yes, we can!

August 10, 2011

…or, I think we’re going to have to go to Barbecue Station to get meat without bad music…

Sabra, as Jason Michael Carroll’s “Where I’m From” is playing on the sound system: “Can we LEAVE now?”

Me: “Yes, yes we can!”

(Seriously…”I’m from (a place) where a man’s word means everything…where moms and dads are high school flames…the quarterback dates the homecoming queen…” Ford trucks and green tractors? It’s as if they were trying to win a contest to see how many cliches they could stuff into one song. I always thought JMC had a pretty good voice, but his song selection has left a lot to be desired…)